I am writing and teaching about the notion of intentional empathy - being in service with our caring. It is the foundation for all critical engagement, and often neglected. Not to put too a fine point on it, but empathy, for all its virtues, if left unintentional, is the sure fire way to get yourself burned out and dangerous.
I woke up Thursday am, and was thinking about it, how necessary it is to understand this concept as early on in any training as possible. Specifically I was thinking of great examples to illustrate the concept....later that morning I sat with a family whose baby has a very unusual hearing profile, whose clinical impressions is yielding more questions than answers, creating the need for test after test after test. The family has taken this boy from appointment to appointment, leaving defeated and faced with even more unknowns. They were sharing some of the journey with me.
Their anxiety , frustration and grief got to me during our time together, and I stepped out of my intentional caring for a few seconds and I felt myself wanting to give them hope, not based on fact but coming from a place of deep unintentional gut-burning caring ..... I realised what was going on and was able to go back to the still point..... I did not cause them any harm. But I could have. I was tired, and I cared, and my focus changed.
I have my real life poignant example. And I had a big helping of my own medicine.