As we settle into our home offices, and figuring out a routine of on-linyness, tending to family and general flexibility, many of us are discovering that sustainable joy is apparently not located in or near the fridge. The hourly fridge-checking (I know who you are) and the semi-surprised look at the crumbs on our laps should create two realisations: 1) there’ll have to be another way if we want to be distinguished from an Easter egg in two weeks, and 2) we will have to be a little deliberate about the rhythm of our day.
Today, I would like to introduce the 3Cs of Joy: Contain, Contribute Consume.
Contribute before you Consume; Contain before you Contribute.
Contain: Byron Katie states that of life may be organised around whether it is: My business, Their business, or God’s business. As we have no or very little control over God’s business or Their business, it leaves us with the task of minding our own business. My business includes: my attitude, m y adherence to recommendations (e.g. physical distancing, hoarding of supplies), my activities, and pursuits of relaxation, diet, self-talk and sleep routine. A great little tool in returning to that still point of containment: https://images.app.goo.gl/ayPAD7Sw8xm2AmDT9
The mantra should be: when peckish, breathe; when tired, breathe; when anxious, breathe.
Contribute: Once we’ve tended to ourselves, we are able to make some deliberate contributions. Ranging from the non-physical (meditating on everyone’s wellness) to the practical (offering to take a struggling neighbour’s bin to the curb), our contributions allow for a creative and playful mindset as we go about our business.
Wayne Dyer said that no-one knows enough to be a pessimist. Before I take from this experience what I need, is there any room to replace fear with faith, worry with wisdom, harshness with humour? I can contribute a calm, non-anxious presence, a friendly smile to the teller behind the Plexiglas, clarity in communication, the list is truly endless. Anne Lamott’s Travelling Mercies (2000:108) resonates: "Again and again I tell God I need help and God says: ‘Well, isn’t that fabulous. Because I need help too. So you go get that old woman over there some water, and I’ll figure out what we’re going to do about your stuff'’.”
Consume: Containment and contribution take effort and time, and by the time you afford yourself the opportunity to consume (for example information), you will be persnickety about what you permit near your cosmic deliciousness. It is hard to imagine any tolerance for fake news, fear-mongering and other mechanisms of vibe-harshing, if you are guarding joy and tending to others with your contribution. As the wonderful poet, Mark Nepo reminds us in his Book of Awakenings (2011,p24): “joy is in both the front row and the bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are.”